Shove Your Opinion

It's like having an opinion these days is a novel thing. Do you want to hear my opinion on this reality (warning - this is your out - TAKE IT!)?

There is a dumb expression about everyone having an opinion that is also factually true, everyone has assholes, and opinions. Those who try to shove their opinions down your throat, now that's where the two collide. 

I want people to have opinions. I really do. But when it comes to mom-ing and how fucking hard it is, I am not sure I want your opinion. Like, you do you. For real. But enough with the one-upping and the incessant opinion-giving. Are your opinions based in facts? No? Well go fucking fact check them. Oh, they are? Then seriously, still keep them to yourself UNTIL I ASK TO SEE THE DETAILED EVIDENCE-BASED RESEARCH BEHIND YOUR FUCKING RANDOM OPINION. 

Why is this making me so crazed, you may ask? Well, I think it's because people can't state an opinion and leave it at that. It's like we all have to agree or something. Do we? I mean, you can have an opinion and I can have an opinion and they can be different right? I don't have to convince you of mine or vice versa or attack your very character just because we disagree, right? 

Well, it turns out, WRONG. 

Whys everybody gotta be right? 

I mean yes, I like to be right. I might even love it. But are you wrong if you only feed your kid non-GMO, vegan, farm-raised food? ONLY IF YOU TRY TO TELL ME I HAVE TO.

It's okay to be different, right? It's okay to advocate for what you think is right for your child, right? OF COURSE. But doing what's best for you and your kids is not, I repeat, NOT, necessarily best for someone else and theirs. 

Go ahead and think it! Go ahead and judge the shit out of everyone else! Just do it IN YOU MIND. If everyone's safe, then who the fuck cares? Seriously.

I think I get so worked up about this is because 1) Moms don't get any validation and I feel like it's becoming this thing where we demand it in this really terrible way - like we "out perfect" each other so that we have the supposed moral high ground (e.g., I only let me kids do such and such so I get to shit on your choices) and I guess railroad everyone else? 2) It's not SUPPORTIVE to do this. Having an opinion is wonderful. Sharing your thoughts and giving advice - when and where appropriate - is also awesome and so supportive! Being like, this is the way you have to do it is really sucky and it makes other moms feel bad.

So if you do this, please stop it. Please! I beg you. 

Going in for the bad close here, opinions may be like assholes, but ensure yours is supportive to the whole system and not just about taking a dump on another mom and how hard she is trying with what she's got. 


See also, Empathy, and this rad article that a rad mom in Mummy Voices just posted.