Baptism by Fire

Maybe this moment isn't about me.

Maybe it's okay that I'm not balancing life in perfect harmony

Or managing all the things on my to do list

Superbly.

Maybe this is my moment to serve.

Maybe my resistance to her running my life

Is futile.

Intellectually,

I know this to be true.

But in my heart

I want so much to be me

And me alone

Which isn't in the cards

After you build someone from scratch

Inside yourself

And birth them into the world

All fresh and raw

And wrinkly.

I resist so much because I think I'll never have a life again

That isn't about servitude

And toil.

But I will,

Won't I?

This moment is about my own rebirth

Or my own baptism by fire

Where I walk

Step by by

Out of the ashes

Of my former self

Into something unknown

And perhaps,

More beautiful.