You Are Everything Mama

All women seem to share the same hot flush of tears when they experience heartfelt desires that have failed them.

The sadness that is swept away with waving hands and changed topics and internal prayers that the aches and pains of the heart can soon, finally, be soothed.

Pain and loss are a woman’s birthright; their original sin being only that they were born female, about the bear the world on their hips.

Women must endure the pain and loss of their identity when they walk in the shoes that motherhood bestows upon them. And they must bear it with smiles. 

Assurances that all is all right. 

That they enjoy the complete upheaval of who they once were; a woman that they had always known.

Where does this woman reside in the aching heart of the mother?

She’s not lost. Nor is she found.

A mother is she who can resist the temptation of saying, “What about me?” ten thousand times a day when it seems like everyone else gets to but her. 

A mother is a woman who panics at the thought of being both with and without her children.

A mother is a person who is never completely the same in mind or in body, but in spirit she remains. 

And in spirit she dwells. It is there that she rises.

How can mothers explain the oddity and the ecstasy of what they experience as both day-to-day banality and complete and utter beauty? How can we daily walk the thin line between insanity and joy, incredulity and pain, optimism and complete despair and still find ourselves intact? Resourceful? Complete?

The jagged edges that make you a mother are those that will snag on every judgment, every waylaid plan, every disappointment that this sometimes thankless journey brings.

But, if you, even for a second, think that you will be worse for walking this path of deep persistence and often deeper pain, you are mistaken.

You are the ruler of the tiny empire that you have created in your likeness. In your image. In your blood, sweat, and tears.

You are a heroine for the ages.

Fuck all who don’t bow at your feet, Mother.

For you are everything.