The Noose of Perfection

You don't get off that easy.

You don't only get to care for yourself.


Before kids, before love, before there was a before.

You have always been responsible.

For yourself, yes.

But others too.

You are responsible.

I see memes and posts about how you are the only one responsible for your life.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

Would I have lived without others when I fell, arms flailing wildly into the abyss of depression?


The answer is, quite simply, no.

Would you have survived all the days and nights of your motherhood loneliness without the warm embrace of the women who walked in your shoes before you?

Grounding the soles right out so that you wouldn't have to suffer so much.

Don't walk away from other women who need you.

Don't pretend their suffering is not yours.

It's ours.

It's ours to carry like heavy burdens in our hearts.

We can't reject or deny what we have to do.

For each other.

If you don't tell your truths, you deny another mother the freedom to live hers.

If you get caught up in perfection, that noose strangles us all.

If you think, even for a moment, that you are not her and she is not you, then are lost.

When we don't take responsibility for another, for another mother, then we, all of us, are damned to hell.