Stop Diminishing Yourself

Stop diminishing yourself.

Yes. You feel like a rusted sign swinging from an abandoned hotel.

Past it’s prime.

Useless.

You’ve lost yourself and don’t know if you can be found.

Who is this particular you?

She’s tired.

Listless even.

In a universe of possibilities that used to excite, you find yourself shiftless and in need of some focus.

You’re trying.

But your misspent youth was only misspent in retrospect.

You see everything clearly now.

But who cares.

You don’t want to relive what’s past and you can’t seem muster the energy for whats to come.

You want to sit still but that fire that has always burned in you has lit embers smouldering still.

They mostly annoy, but they also compel you to a purpose.

A passion that just won’t shut up.

Like the creak creak creak of your soul.

Not going anywhere.

Getting louder.

Not yet screaming.

But intense.

In this place where you feel worn out, washed up, and still, oddly, brand fucking new.

What sense does your life make?

What purpose do you serve?

Who/what do you serve if not something higher than yourself?

You’re nothing and everything.

Despairing and hopeful.

Childlike and jaded.

What hope is there for you?

So much I’m afraid.

So much.

You need to walk the barren dust-filled rooms of your abandoned life and take stock of what you have left to give.

You must lay down in the green grass and the moist earth and fill up on the wreckage of your past.

She’s gone.

You’re here.

Now what?