Why a Mom Cold is so Much Worse than a Man Cold

Being sick while trying to parent sucks. This is a universal fact. You feel like death and yet your kid still has all these needs and all this energy. It’s horrible. Like, horrible terrible, and a little awful.

Here I will recount why having a mom cold is the worst – in no particular order.

You’re kid definitely gave you the cold but has since miraculously recovered all their energy. There is no retribution that can equal the sleepless nights that you endured while caring for them during their recent illness. Sidenote: Kids and kid germs are the worst.

Your kid(s) will continue to pull at you and climb all over you and generally make having a cold that much more awful because they don’t give a shit that you have a cold. You’re still mum and that’s all that matters. Apparently.

Partners can only solo parent so long. And you know for a fact that if they were blogging while you were solo parenting because their ass was sick, you’d put up a bigger stink than they are.

Occasionally you are sure you’re not going to make it. Maybe more than occasionally.

Daycare is always closed when you are sick. Or your mom’s on a riverboat vacation. Or you’re not quite sick enough to farm your kid out, but you really, really want to.

Your kid objects to you binge-watching The Crown because she doesn’t get the beauty of the subtle nuanced facial expressions of Claire Foy as Elizabeth. It’s tragic but you know she’ll get there one day.

Being sick makes you feel a little murdery as in you have no patience and everything IS SO ANNOYING.

In general, coughing, sneezing, and blowing your nose test your pelvic floor “bounce back” or lack thereof.

The longer you lie on the couch, the messier you watch your house become.

Cartoons that are usually unbearable become even moreso in the absence of patience combined with the edginess that too much cold medication inspires.

You are pretty certain that you will never be well again.

Simple tasks take the effort of all your faculties which haven’t been quite right since you had your kid(s) anyway.

You don’t really feel hungry and, let’s face it, eating is your only solace.

I will end this list with EVERYTHING. Everything is terrible while you are sick and you have to parent. Your lips are chapped, your kid keeps pulling your hair, everything tastes like mashed potatoes with no butter, and death seems imminent.

Pray for me Mamas. Pray for me.